Historically speaking, red tents were places where women
would gather during menstruation and child birth. No men allowed! In some cultures, they’re
called moon lodges (the gathering always happened around the time of the new
moon) or menstrual huts. They’ve had a return to popularity since the
publication of Anita Diamont’s book “The Red Tent” which tells the story of
Dinah, Jacob’s daughter based on the biblical story in the book of Genesis.
Nowadays, red tents aren’t about menstruation, but about
women gathering to hold space for one another, share stories and celebrate
life. It’s a place to be authentic and speak your truth, process challenges you
face and feel supported by others. It’s different to sharing with friends, but
you can’t help but become friends with the women you sit in circle with. They
really see you, and you really see them.
I found Red Tent Worcestershire via the red tent directory http://www.redtentdirectory.co.uk/
and got in touch with Jayne who runs it from her home in Malvern. I was already
part of a couple of other women’s groups, but nothing quite like this, so she
explained how it worked and invited me to the next gathering. It’s a monthly group,
held around the time of the new moon as they were in the past. I’ve been twice now,
and have every intention to keep going along to as many as I can.
I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but when I got there
I found Jayne’s house transformed into a red tent, with red wall hangings, red
chairs and cushions, and an alter set up in the middle of the circle. Once
everyone had arrived and we’d all introduced ourselves, Jayne explained the
rules of red tent – that confidentiality was essential so people felt safe to
be open and honest, that we were to let people share their story and not to
contribute or comment on anything they said, including not comforting anyone
who might get upset (unless they asked us to of course!). The idea being by
sharing you’re able to process, and if others contribute before you’ve had
chance to work through it they can delay your chance to go through it.
We opened the circle by each lighting a candle and adding
them to the alter, then went on to light candles for other women we knew,
friends and family who were dealing with problems and needed some love and
light sent there way. We pulled oracle cards alongside each candle and we
talked about how we had come to be a part of the group, then broke to drink tea
and eat cake together.
When we returned to the circle we were each given the chance
to share our thoughts and stories related to the theme of the month. Obviously,
I’m not going to tell you what we all said here(!!), but I can say that it was
the most amazing experience. Every one of us had stories that were similar,
with similar thoughts, feelings and reactions, despite all being very different
experiences. I talked about one of the issues I’ve faced recently, how I’d
reacted, why I’d felt the way I had and how I’ve become much more aware of when
it’s my true, soul voice versus my fear based ego voice reacting (more on that
in my last blog about fear and the lessons its teaching me HERE). When I’d
finished talking it felt like a breakthrough, just saying it all out loud
instead of thinking and feeling, and writing too. Some of the other women
shared how much some of the things I’d said resonated with them, which in turn
felt like my feelings had been validated, which gave me the reassurance and
support I’d needed to be able to deal with it properly, and stop thinking I was
wrong or shouldn’t feel the way I do. We all had similar experiences, with each
new story shared it was clear we all understood, felt the same and had the same
fears.
Once we’d all had chance to share it was time to close the
circle, coming together as a group to give thanks to one another for holding
space and the connections made. Jayne even gave us all a red rose to go home
with.
Women sitting in circle like this is such a powerful experience
and helps healing you didn’t even realise you needed. There really is nothing
like sharing space with a group of strong women, especially when individually
we don’t realise how strong we truly are. Together, we really are.
If you're in Worcestershire and interested in finding out more about the group I went to, joint he Facebook group HERE .
If you're in Worcestershire and interested in finding out more about the group I went to, joint he Facebook group HERE .
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